As many of you know, I’m a lawyer. I have absolutely no experience working in a restaurant at any capacity. I’ve not chopped a single vegetable, fired a pan, plated a dish or anything else in the kitchen. I’ve never taken an order, filled a water glass, or bussed a table. Hell, I never even worked at a fast food joint. When it comes to restaurant operations, I’m a complete dilettante.
Yet lately, I’ve started to think that I could open a restaurant. Yeah, maybe just a sandwich or burger joint, but I’ve thought of it nonetheless (and no, it’s not a serious fantasy, should my wife or any of my law partners read this).
I realized, however, that it is mighty arrogant of me to think I could actually open my own place when I don’t have a goddamn clue of what it takes to run a restaurant. But I’d like to change that, with some help.
I’m announcing today that I’m offering up my services to work the line in a real restaurant, to flip burgers, to prep for the day’s service. I got your brunoise right here, buddy. I’ll wait tables, wash dishes, or throw together a tasty mojito. Oh, I’ll screw it up, of course, and your customers may suffer, but I want to see how incompetent I’ll be. And how stupid I’ll look, as I don’t even have the right kind of shoes to work in a kitchen.
Oh, and I’ll write about it, for sure.
So, who’s bold (or stupid) enough to give me a chance? Anyone? Hello?